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I am well acquainted with overwhelm.

Overwhelming awe at a beautiful desert sunset or overwhelming love while watching my six-year-old daughter dramatically sing “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.”

But more often than not, I’m overwhelmed by the pace of life…and not in a good way.

But, this is how we all feel, right?

Meet the expectations — do more, be more, have more — until I have nothing left to give.

And then my therapist asks: Do you make lists each morning?

In my head, I’m questioning…who does she think I am? A fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants wanderer who looks for spontaneity on the daily? Of course, I have a list — and it’s so long I want to scream!

But rather than say that out loud, I simply say, “I do.”

“How is that working for you?”

And I know she’s gotten me.

Because it clearly is not working…

The Tried and Not-So-True List Method

You know the lists I’m talking about. On Monday, I would develop a somewhat short list of things to accomplish for the day which by 10 am becomes a giant list of things that should have been done yesterday (according to everyone else).

Maybe I’ve checked off two of them by 5 pm, leaving the rest pushed onto Tuesday — along with all the things that also need to be done on Tuesday. By the time I get to Thursday, I feel buried beyond belief.

Honestly, I don’t know how I lasted until Thursday!

And, yes, I did try to trick myself by putting items on my list that I’d already completed just for the satisfaction of checking them off. What I ended up with was an even longer list and the ache of an ulcer in my stomach.

So as my therapist was listing (ha!) the merits of the book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown (highly recommended reading!), I took a leap of faith and switched the type of list I created.

And, I began to regain my sanity.

What Is Your Priority?

The idea behind McKeown’s theory of Essentialism is that we shouldn’t be adding more to our lives. Instead, we need to reduce our priorities to the base essential items. Ultimately, we chose what is essential rather than others hijacking our time and energy.

So, what does this look like? Let’s break it down into three parts: 

Part 1: Begin Each Day With A Priority

What is the 1 thing that must get done? What is essential to make this day feel complete to you?

But, here’s the trick — it can only be ONE priority, not 15!

Yes, you read that correctly. I was as cynical about this as you might be right now, but please don’t walk away!

Photo by Thomas Bormans on Unsplash

Not yet. Trust me, I looked at my lengthy lists and thought there was no way that I could pick just one thing as my priority for the day. Then I begrudgingly changed my mindset because, well, my way wasn’t working.

Yes, I had a lot that needed to be done throughout the day, but realistically, what was my essential? What one item couldn’t be pushed aside any longer?

Once you’ve picked an essential, write it down — maybe in multiple places. Have it in front of you. All. The. Time. When you start to spiral into everything that must be done, remind yourself of your one essential!

But what about the rest? 

I hear you — there are a lot of things that must be done.

But here’s what I found: completing my one essential task didn’t take that much time. I spent more time waffling between which task was the essential (along with worrying about how I was going to get everything done). By choosing one essential, I gave myself permission to focus on just one thing and actually complete it. 

And then I crossed off the taks with a smirk of satisfaction. Take that overwhelm!

Part 2: The “Nice to Accomplish” List

This list houses the rest of the tasks to be completed in a day. The phone calls to make, the emails to send, the clothes at the dry cleaners to pick up, and the after school activities to shuttle the kids to.

Each item on the list is necessary, but none are more pressing than the essential task. And, truly, some of those calls or emails can wait until tomorrow. They probably aren’t life or death (and if they are, why weren’t they the “essential” task?)

The beauty of the “Nice to Accomplish” list is that you can prioritize this list as well, now that your essential task is completed. You get to choose what deserves your energy rather than the other way around.

Now, we probably should talk a little here about delegation and the word “No.”

Because you make the choice of where you want your time to go, you’ll find that you can’t do it all! Shocking, right? Maybe your partner or a neighbor can shuttle the kids or someone else on the work team can send that email. This is okay and incredibly powerful!

And, the saying “No” to things is okay, too.

Let’s say your boss shows up at your desk and asks you to lead another new project. You might not be able to say “No. I’m busy.” But, what if you said: “I would love to. Right now, I’m working on X project and these other tasks. Is there one of these things that I can put on hold to work on this new project?” Said respectfully, you might find that your boss had no idea what you were already doing and might pass the task on to someone else!

Overwhelmed kicked to the curb while your sanity cheers you on!

Part 3: The “In My Best Life” List

This one’s my favorite list. Probably because I’m a daydreamer, secretly imagining what my life would be like if only I had a magic wand to wave around. 

The “in my best life” list are all those things that you’d do in a perfect world, a world without time restrictions or anything else reality throws at you. Binging on the Netflix show of my choice, curling up on the couch with a book, 15 minutes of uninterrupted, silent time to myself, taking a walk outside (my daydreams are pretty low-key!).

Now, you might ask — but aren’t you wasting time daydreaming? What’s the point of putting that on a list?

I don’t know…because it’s fun?!

I use this list as my feel-good list. Once I have my “essential” task done for the day and I prioritize and make my way through the “nice to accomplish” list, I will need a break at some point.

And, what better way to take a break AND feel accomplished than to check off an item on the “in my best life” list? 

Because, truly, shouldn’t this be my best life right now?

The “in my best life” list reminds me that I get to choose my reality and prioritize myself.

It Doesn’t End Here and It Isn’t Easy

How could it be east? Sanity is a fragile thing in a world of fast-paced, in-your-face demands. And, I’ll tell you straight-up — there will be days (probably many) where the overwhelming feeling of not being enough will take over. But, if you are anything like me, you’ll still get up every day and make a list.

Why? Because each day is a new chance to start over.

So why not make 3 lists and give yourself the power to choose your day, your reality, and ultimately your sanity?

It’s worth a shot, right?